How To Lean Into Any Emotion You Are Feeling & Find Your Equilibrium

July 1, 2016

Lily And Lionel Maxidress | Monica Beatrice Welburn | The Elgin Avenue Blog

Dress: Dia Style by Lily & Lionel – Now On Sale | Hoops: Lago di Como Style at Georgiana Scott

Lily And Lionel Maxidress | Monica Beatrice Welburn | The Elgin Avenue Blog

How To Lean Into Any Emotion You Are Feeling & Find Your Equilibrium

Do you ever feel like you can’t quite process your emotions?

As The Elgin Avenue has developed over the past six months or so, it’s probably noticeable that my interest in wellbeing has shot right up. It’s not that I wasn’t interested before – I’ve always been someone concerned with health – it’s just that honestly I didn’t feel in a rhythm with my health and wellbeing until this year.

And really, even then it has taken till mid-way through the year to really feel in a groove – not just a fad.

NB: I’ve been in ‘fad health’ mode before too – feeling great for two months, and then “oops!” not so much any more.

Since the beginning of 2016 I have been working on my personal development. Eek scary term!

‘Personal development’ can sound like a lofty notion, and I totally get if it is too much of a vague term to grasp right away. Don’t let its more challenging connotations put you off – working on yourself (which is essentially what personal development is), is the most valuable thing you can do for yourself.


Quick Sex And The City flashback here (because I mean, when is an SATC flashback ever not a good idea?) –  you’ll recall in the very last episode of SATC that Carrie declares that “the most challenging, exciting and significant relationship of all, is the one you have with yourself.”.

Of all the savvy soundbites Carrie’s dealt us over the years, surely that’s the best?

Lily And Lionel Maxidress | Monica Beatrice Welburn | The Elgin Avenue Blog

Hey, I think you’d also like: 5 Ways To Incorporate More Kindness Into Your Everyday 

It is how you feel about you, that shapes every step of your journey.

Your decisions, your manners, your habits . . . it is all about how you feel internally.

So, what if you feel elation today? Or grief? Sadness? Stress? Confusion?

It can be hard to accept emotions which we don’t necessarily want to feel. For me, I don’t even watch a movie if I know it will make me cry, because I flat out don’t want to cry.

But here’s the thing – by blocking emotions, you are just holding them under the surface. You are fuelling the fire of your anger, or confusion, or sadness. And sometimes we don’t allow ourselves to even feel as happy as we could do.

I believe, leaning in to whatever emotion you are feeling, and accepting that that is the emotion you are feeling right now, is the best way of getting through whatever it is you are going through. 

Some things are completely out of our control. Can we pretend that everything is OK? Sure. We can stress on top of stress.

You can also choose to do something different – if you are sad, lean in to that and feel sad. Let it run its course.

If you are stressed, what is causing the stress? Lean in and figure it out.

If you are SUPER happy? Why so? What is it that has tipped you over in to elation? And what can you incorporate in to your day to day which is going to keep your base happiness more even?

The happiness thing has been an interesting one for me to explore this year, I have crashed and burned after more ‘highs’ than I have when riding out a little low. I am now focusing on keeping a more even kilter – an equilibrium if you will – of emotion.

Lily And Lionel Maxidress | Monica Beatrice Welburn | The Elgin Avenue Blog

A Few Random Happiness Resources

Here are a few resources, links and products I’ve loved using, which have all led to me learning a little more about me, and what I like. They’re great, and I think you’ll love at least a couple of them too . . . !

The Lively Show podcast – regular readers will know I am a huge Lively Show fan. Jess’s work has had a huge impact on me this year and I am so excited to spread word of her fantastic show. Jess just started vlogging too and I am loving following her adventure in Europe!

kikki.K Thankful Journal – my daily go-to for jotting down my gratitude.

Advice From A Twenty Something – savvy advice from a fellow twenty something. Amanda is genuine and lovely and her approach to life is just wonderful.

Five Things series on Cupcakes & Cashmere – I love that Emily takes time to note five good things in her life every week.

Lottie Murphy – a wonderful website focusing on fitness and wellbeing. Lottie is such a sweet person and her outlook on life is so positive and balanced.

P.S. guys – fresh flowers are just the dream! Please buy yourself a bunch this weekend!

Lily And Lionel Maxidress | Monica Beatrice Welburn | The Elgin Avenue Blog

I am no expert here guys, this post is born of a few recent incidents in my own life and the life of my close friends, where leaning in to our emotions has felt like a really hard thing to do.

These are observations I have made of my own emotions over the years and those of my closest friends and family too.

I have been working hard this year on deciphering what I call my ‘base level’, a happy even value which is consistent no matter the situation I am going through.

Alongside the resources listed about, these are a few things which help me aim for this emotional equilibrium: exercise, meditation and gratitude. Simply incorporating these habits in to my routine has had a huge knock-on effect on my day to day.

I’d love to know what you think about this. How do you handle your emotions? Are you pretty level, or do you spiral? I have totally done both and I am working towards being a ‘lean in’ kind of character.

If only SATC was still going, I’d love to know Carrie’s take on this!

Wishing you a great start to your weekends guys!

Love, Monica x

P.S. I guess instalment #2 of my Positive Priorities check in is coming next week – hey ho, sometimes the schedule is more intuitive!

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