Making friend as an adult can feel intimidating, I’m so happy to open the floor to Elgin Avenue regular Chelsea for her actionable advice for building new friendships past your school years.

Over to Chelsea!

Love, Monica x

How To Make New Friends As An Adult, And Ideas For Situations When You Can Do So

For most of us, growing up comes with endless opportunities to meet new people. From being in a classroom of 30 kids, to a high school of 4,000 (my high school was HUGE). All the way through to playing sports or being involved in activities – life is buzzing with potential friends.

Even through college or university, there’s no shortage of people to hangout with or vent about professors with.

And then the real world happens.

Certain childhood friendships naturally fade because people change, some people move away for jobs or relationships, we’re not going out as often, etc.

Somewhere along the way, you wake up with a smaller circle than you once had – and seemingly less chances to make pals.

Especially as adults, it seems like most people already have their set group of friends, and it can even feel awkward trying to build a relationship with someone new. The struggle can be real!

But, if you’re new to a job or a town or simply want to make friends in your adult world, it’s not a hopeless cause! Of course you should have the opportunity to form new circles, no matter your age or situation – it’s all about going about it the right way. Find 5 common adult situations and how to make friends through them below!

How to Make Adult Friends in the Office

If you’re looking to make friends at work, it’s hard to do so without putting yourself out there. Between heavy workloads, meeting talk, and everything else that comes with a job, it’s easy to fall into the ‘coworkers only’ zone with another person.

But if you feel a solid connection with someone at the office, be a normal person!

“ask about more than work . . . it might feel weird to set up a potential friendship date, but it’s the only way to take your work friendships to another level. “

What I mean by that is ask about more than work, get to know them more personally, casually ask them if they want to grab coffee, etc. It might feel weird to set up a potential friendship date, but it’s the only way to take your work friendships to another level.

P.S. Wine helps – see if they want to grab a glass after an especially stressful day. Maybe invite your whole table.

How to Make Adult Friends in Your Town

If meeting new people isn’t the issue and you’re simply looking to find people you actually jive with, think about what your interests are.

You’re a sports nut? Join a tennis league or hang at a local sports pub.

Into politics? Check out a local office and volunteer. If you’re a fan of learning, sign up for a language class at the local school. If you’re a fitness fanatic, go to the same class every week.

Whatever it is, put yourself in a situation with like-minded people. Without a doubt, you’ll have something in common with the people surrounding you, and it’ll make for a natural, easy set up.

How to Make Adult Friends in Your Circle

I’ve personally met some of my best friends through other close friends (even if I’m not close with the original connection anymore). And the way I did that was by hosting!

During my 20s, my roommate and I held a yearly ‘girl’s-only’ party on Valentine’s Day weekend, and there were only two rules: no phones and you had to bring a female “date.” We started this as a way to connect with more females in our life, without hiding behind our screens while doing so. And even though it might have seemed like strict rules or kinda weird, they were always a hit. (The endless food and mimosas probably helped!)

People usually brought a friend from work or another area of their life, and though I didn’t become BFFs with every single person, it was always nice meeting them.

MONICA’S WEARING

Polka Dot Blouse: Wallis | Jeans: Anthropologie (Similar Without Rips)

Handbag: Topshop – Last Season But This Season Is SO Good Too

Bee Bracelet: Olivia Burton | Bangle and Hoops: Dinny Hall

  ELLA’S WEARING

Polka Dot Blouse: Wallis 

How to Make Adult Friends When You Work From Home

I’m a work-from-homer, and sometimes I swear I go days without talking to anyone besides my husband or my dog. Which is kinda depressing! And though I have a good amount of friends in life, most don’t live close – so I can wind up feeling lonely at times.

But strangely enough, I’ve made SO many friends over the past year or two through the blogging community. By simply engaging over Instagram, commenting on blog posts, sending emails and the like, I’ve been able to form friendships over the Internet that are invaluable to me.

Sure, I’d love to grab coffee with them in person, but having Skype calls about the industry or collaborating on a project is rewarding, too.

If you’re isolated because of your job and don’t have an office, try getting involved with an online community! It’ll feel weird at first, but at least you don’t have to deal with awkward eye contact or moments of silence behind your screen. Always see the positive 🙂

How to Make Adult Friends in a Relationship

When involved with someone, it’s inevitable that you’ll start hanging out with their friend group – especially if you live close to them or if you’ve moved for that person. And while it might not feel like *your* group, there are likely connections to be made!

My biggest piece of advice here is to be open and friendly. No one likes rude people, so when you’re meeting and hanging with your partner’s friends, be involved and present. You never know what amazing sister or friend that person may have if you’re blowing them off because they’re not *your* friend.

It took courage, but after meeting some of my then-boyfriend-now-husband’s female friends, I set up a wine & game night at our house. Some of the guys came to watch football, and the girls and I hung out in the living room.

It was comfortable because we had the guys in the other room so it wasn’t totally forced, but we got girls-only time and were able to connect. I now call those girls some of my closest friends! And I didn’t know a single one of them before I was 27.

The Takeaway? Making Friends At Any Age Is Possible

While it may seem awkward or impossible at times, I’m here to tell you that making friends at any age is possible. We all crave human connection, and most people I know love making friends, so don’t be so scared that you end up isolating yourself due to fear.

Put yourself out there!

What’s Your Take?

Have you dealt with making friends as an adult? Any situations that worked? That were a total disaster? I’d love to hear!

Love, Chelsea x

 – Chelsea Becker is a regular contributor to The Elgin Avenue. Chelsea is a California native with a penchant for beach days, Napa wine tours and pilates. – 

Photography by Charlotte Bryer-Ash 

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